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Wednesday 9 July 2014

See you soon daddy...

OUTFIT DETAILS
DRESS - vintage from Japan 60s/70s
SHOES - modern shoes but look very fifties
NECKLACE - vintage from mom, 1950s
Not many of you know, but my dear dad passed away two weeks ago, on the 24th of June. That's the cause of my silence on the blogosphere. This happening affected me profoundly and stopped me from reading my favourite blogs. I decided to write about the subject to help me to get through this, to step forward and let it go. It's still hard to believe that he isn't around anymore with his strong laughter, with his sharp sense of humour, with his warm hug and his strong spirit. It´s impossible to write this without tears rolling down my face... is so painful for me.

Não muitos de vocês sabem, mas o meu querido paizinho faleceu há duas semanas, no dia 24 de Junho. Esta é a causa do meu silencio na blogosfera. Este acontecimento afetou-me profundamente e parou a leitura dos meus blogs favoritos. Decidi escrever sobre o assunto para me ajudar a passar por isto, dar um passo em frente e deixar ir. Ainda é difícil acreditar que ele não se encontra mais aqui com a sua gargalhada forte, com o seu aguçado sentido de humor, com o seu abraço apertado e de espírito forte. É impossível escrever isto sem lágrimas a correr pelo meu rosto... é tão doloroso para mim.
This was my father in the fifties, belongs to my mom

Gosh... after so long fighting for him. I done everything that I could, the possible and many times the impossible too, just to save him from illness and to give him the chance to live a little more. Some of you know that my life was centred around looking after my parents and my baby. Once you give yourself in this way, choosing to do everything for someone, your precious time, your effort, your energy, your e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g., then is very hard to accept this final end. My dear readers, I am not the owner of life... the final word is not mine. Some of you know that I am a Christian and I believe my dad is resting in peace, till the day we meet again. That's my hope.

Caramba... depois de uma longa luta por ele. Fiz tudo o que podia, o possível e muitas vezes o impossível também, só para salva-lo da doença e para lhe dar a chance de viver um pouco mais. Algumas de vocês sabem que a minha vida era centrada em tomar conta dos meus pais e do meu bebé. Quando nos entregamos deste modo, escolhendo fazer tudo por alguém, dando o nosso tempo precioso, o nosso esforço, a nossa energia, o nosso t.u.d.o., então é muito difícil de aceitar este final. Minhas queridas leitoras, eu não sou a dona da vida... a palavra final não é minha. Algumas de vós saberão que sou Cristã e acredito que o meu pai descansa em paz, até que um dia o encontre outra vez. Esta é a minha esperança.

My mother tried to clean it and broke it 

In spite of my pain, it was God's wish to give me a beautiful farewell before dad departed this world. Two days before it happened, I drove out of town to my sister's house. I went with my husband, my child and my mom. My sister and my brother-in-law got my father from the facility care's house and we got all together. We had such a magical time together! We had lunch, joined around the table for a wonderful time in family. After, we laid down my parents on the big couch for a tiny siesta and they could hold hands together. Me and my sister were right close to them chatting away quite happily. I had travelled back in time to when I was a child... and I felt that wonderful family communion just like when I was a kid. It was so magical and special! It was so sublime... but I felt right at the bottom of my heart it was a farewell. So when I got the call from the facility care's house two days later telling me that he went to the Hospital, I knew it... daddy wasn't coming back. The time I spent in Hospital while they tried everything to save his life was the most difficult time I had in my entire life. I felt so tiny, so impotent. I couldn't even enter his room to hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

Apesar da minha dor, foi o desejo de Deus dar-me uma linda despedida antes de o meu pai partir deste mundo. Dois dias antes de acontecer, conduzi para fora da cidade até a casa da minha irmã. Fui com o meu esposo, o meu menino e a minha mãe. A minha irmã e o meu cunhado foram buscar o meu pai à residência de idosos e juntamo-nos todos. Tivemos um momento tão mágico juntos! Almoçamos, juntamo-nos à volta da mesa para um momento maravilhoso em família. Depois, deitámos os meus pais no sofá grande para uma pequena sesta e eles puderam dar as mãos. Eu e a minha irmã ficámos bem pertinho deles conversando alegremente. Viajei atrás no tempo até quando eu era criança... e senti aquela doce comunhão em família mesmo de quando era pequena. Foi tão mágico e especial! Foi sublime... mas senti no fundo do meu coração que era uma despedida. Então, quando recebi o telefonema da residência de idosos dois dias após a dizerem que o meu pai tinha sido hospitalizado, eu sabia... o paizinho não ia voltar. O tempo que passei no Hospital enquanto eles tentavam tudo para salvar-lhe a vida, foi o tempo mais difícil da minha vida. Senti-me tão pequena, tão impotente. Nem podia entrar na sala onde ele se encontrava, para segurar-lhe a mão e dizer-lhe que tudo iria ficar bem.

Mom, dad, my little boy and me.
This photo was from the magical day... farewell 

Dad was know by being someone with a very strong will, the most generous and helpful person that most people met, he was cheerful with an amazing sense of humour, creative, very very punctual and always the first doing everything. Known as a superb kitchen Chef, he cooked for many famous people such as Prince Charles and Princess Diana from Great Britain. I had a great relationship with him when I was a child, he was so much fun and I was always very close to him. He had an amazing life story that I must tell you one day, the many adventures that José de Almeida told me when I was just a little child sat on his lap.

O meu pai era conhecido por ser uma pessoa com uma grande força de vontade, a pessoa mais generosa e prestável que conheceram, era super alegre com um grande sentido de humor, criativo, muito, mais muito pontual e era sempre o primeiro a fazer tudo. Conhecido como soberbo Chef de cozinha, cozinhou para muita gente famosa, assim como o Príncipe Charles e a Princesa Diana da Grã-Bretanha. Tive uma relação maravilhosa com ele em criança, era tão divertido e eu era muito chegada a ele. Ele teve uma estória de vida incrível que um dia tenho de vos contar, as muitas aventuras que o José de Almeida me contou, quando eu era só uma pequena criança sentada no seu colo.
In the garden

Back home, with my little boy.
I was wearing Madame Turbante's turban and vintage saddle shoes

I wanted to show Jessica the Airedale brooch 1930s/40s from Cronically Vintage shop

If I did start this post with tears I end it up with a smile. It seems that writing a little about it comforted my heart. Thank you to everyone that gave me a strong hug, even if not in person. Thank you so much...

Se comecei este post com lágrimas, termino com um sorriso. Parece que escrever um pouco sobre o assunto confortou o meu coração. Obrigada a todos que me deram um abraço forte, mesmo que não em pessoa. O meu muito obrigada...

As you see I was rather happy on that farewell day and even toke a selfie!
1930s/1940s sterling silver heart shaped locket necklace from Cronically Vintage

See you soon daddy...
Até breve paizinho...

Miss Beta

8 comments:

  1. I am very sorry to hear about this difficult time you are going through. It sounds like your father was a lovely person who lived a fascinating life. You are showing great strength in dealing with this, and I'm glad you were provided with a beautiful goodbye. *Hugs*

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    1. Hi Tanith. Thank you so much for your kind comment. It means a lot to me! <3

      Miss Beta

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  2. Olá querida Beta. Meus sinceros sentimentos. Sei que uma hora como essa não existe palavras suficientes que confortem a ausência de uma pessoa amada, ainda mais se tratando de um pai que é tão sagrado. Que Deus conforte o seu coração! Receba o meu abraço mesmo que virtual e as minhas orações <3.. Beijos! xxx

    vintagepri.blogspot.com

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    1. Querida Pri, obrigada do fundo do meu coração. As tuas palavras aqueceram o meu coração e as tuas orações são preciosas. Beijinho! <3

      Miss Beta

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  3. Darling Beta, this post took me through the emotional gamut and back and again. I wept, I smiled, I nodded in vigorous agreement, my heart ached, and I felt like I wanted to hug you with every fiber of my being.

    ...and you know what? It strikes me that this, this same spectrum of highs and lows and deep reflections, is how I usually feel at a funeral. I think that this post is like a remembrance of life ceremony for your sweet father and that you have taken us all along with you as you say goodbye in your own profoundly deep way to the man that gave you your own life. What a truly special honour you've paid him and shared with all of us. Thank you.

    Endless hugs & understanding,
    ♥ Jessica

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    1. My dear friend. your comment touched my heart and read it on tears. Thank you so much for your wonderful profound words that means so much to me. I take so long to get things processed in my heart and soul and having these comments are very nice and helpful for me. I feel that I'm not alone in my grief and that you're still there with your huge hearts ready to embrace me...

      Thank you, thank you, thank you so much <3

      Miss Beta

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  4. Dear Beta,
    You have such a beautiful family and I am so glad you were able to find the strength to share this with everyone. Even though the picture of your father is not a close up, I can tell that he has kind eyes and a good heart. Without a doubt, he is smiling again and walking down the streets of gold! I hope that your mom is doing a little better now that some time has passed. I can only imagine how hard this must be for her. My prayers are with you my dear friend.

    :O) Danielle

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    1. My sweet friend Danielle,
      Thank you so much for your heart touching comment. Thank you so much for your prayers, my mom is doing much better now. Get to know that you are always in my prayers too (I also include your mom)! :)

      Miss Beta xx

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Thank you so much for your comments and thoughts. I appreciate each word and I look forward to read more about you. Come to visit more times! ;-)
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Muito obrigada pelos teus comentários e pensamentos. Cada palavra é apreciada e espero lêr mais sobre ti. Vem visitar-me mais vezes! :-)

Miss Beta